Fleeting Holiday Joy

Fleeting Holiday Joy

As I changed careers over the years, I have found the need to adjust to different vocabularies.  Marketing in the construction industry wasn’t too bad with some technical terms and jargon and then some very “direct words” used out on the jobsites.  But when I went back to teaching high school, I needed to re-learn the vocabulary of the youth.   Things were no longer “cool” as in the 50’s but they were “tight” or “dope.”  At first I thought they were talking about how my pants fit!   And finally during my Peace Corps time, I noticed the 20-something crowd seemed to favor the word “random.”  Sometimes, they used it to refer to someone’s behavior that was unpredictable and other times it seemed to refer to something that was “cool.”  As one of the Senior Corps of our group in Armenia, I wasn’t always sure which it was. 

Now over the past couple weeks as I have been reading a fascinating book entitled, Buddha’s Brain, the concept of random has come to the front again.  The authors are looking at what current science has to say about the practice of meditation.  Here “random” is used to describe the way our mind and emotions respond the various external stimuli around us.  There is a pattern to how our thoughts trigger various feelings but it often buried in the experiences from our own past.  But beyond this subjectivity that is based on our own personal history, there seems to be a pattern that emerges for all humans.  We have all descended from someone who survived evolution.   And our brain shows the imprint of this.  Those that learned to notice “danger” quickly and respond quickly had a much better chance to contribute to the gene pool.  This is not too surprising when we consider how small and slow man was combined to many of their companions in the jungle.  It makes sense why The Odyssey and other ancient classics applauded their heroes for being “wily.”  So up to this point, the book seemed to point out things that might be learned in Evolution 101. 

But then they begin to draw new insights into our “survivor” minds as illustrated from current research into the physical wiring of the human brain.  It is amazing to think that we have more neurons firing in our brain than stars twinkling in the Milky Way.  But how these neurons fire, connect and form patterns in brain again is conditioned by our personal experiences.   We possess a capacity unlike any previous species to have words, meanings, and emotions connect in ways that are very personal to each of us.  Listening to talk show radio is an obvious confirmation of this.  But despite this subjective nature of our experience we all have inherited brains from survivors that are wired first and foremost to notice danger.   All our thinking, planning, and problem-solving skills have some pretty strong roots going back to the survival of our species. 

What was most interesting is that these patterns of thinking are not just emotional but physical in our brains.  Living in Arizona now during the winter, I got this image of a dry creek bed just waiting for the next storm.  The more technical description used by the authors is: the neurons that fire together tend to wire together.  This has obviously been a good thing for the survival of our species but has a downside for those of us seeking to find joy and peace in our current lives.  As the human brain has evolved it has developed what the authors call a kind of a Velcro quality when it comes to threats.

The flip side of this, as we often notice even during the holidays, is that our brains give our positive experiences kind a second tier importance,  or a relationship with joy that has a Teflon quality to it.  It is not just the taking down of the tree and the soon-to-arrive Visa bills that push joy to the side so quickly.  You might say it is the nature of the beast.  Those early primates who spent too much time dawdling in the woods to smell the flowers could easily find himself in a losing footrace with a nearby cheetah. This wasn’t exactly cheery news for me to think about my brain’s default setting is for danger.  Especially after surviving the dangers of Corporate America, did I now want to spend my retirement years focused on new threats that await me?  Looking at my aging body and dwindling savings, my brain could easily turn the issues of health insurance and protecting my little 401k into the top priorities.  It is obviously no coincidence that Health Insurance and anger over execs with million dollar bailouts has evoked so much emotion of late from the American public.  Fear has surely become a dominant feeling in America politics, along the discussions to indentify and punish the appropriate villain: Bush, the terrorists, Obama, the immigrants and on and on.

 

But just when things were looking a little gloomy, the authors returned to their basic discovery about our brains: neurons that fire together, wire together.  And here I found a ray of hope.  Recent science seems to be confirming the old adage to Stop and Smell the Flowers.  Not just to smell them but to savor the experience.  The longer something is held in awareness, the stronger the pathway is developed.   And that holds true for all experiences like our relationships not just for flowers.  That is where my practical side used to be in the way.   Why sit around thinking about friends who are no longer in your daily life?  But apparently thinking of friends who are not part of my daily life is not a waste of time. I am not just being nostalgic but actually enhancing a pathway in my brain to enjoy relationships now and in the future. 

            For me this helps to put things in perspective.  I have felt the pull since arriving back in the States to sort through all the investment and Medicare options that I need to decide before I retire next year.  I have found myself resisting this pressure and not wanting to do the research.  I can now see I need to find a middle path, to choose the best I can and realize my “survivor brain” will still be listening for footsteps after I choose. But even better, I now realize the importance of allowing all the joyous experiences both present and past to dance through my brain.  When I return to my school assignment tomorrow, I can actually allow myself to dawdle as I watch all the youngsters playing on the jungle gym.  My brain may be still looking for dangers but I didn't seen any cheetahs when I left so I think I am safe.  I can savor all the spontaneity and joy I am seeing, knowing that my brain has just increased the opportunity for that in my life.    And so too with all the wonderful smiles of children I have met abroad, they are still part of my experience to be enjoyed when I choose. My thoughts may continue to lead my mind in a rather random path but my heart does not need to follow.  I like that.

Have a joyous 2011.