My Holiday Carousel Ride

Last week the headlines read: Dollar Stores taking Wal-Mart’s Lunch Money. That is definitely the case in Arizona where price-conscious shoppers abound, myself included. I never thought I would find items where Wal-Mart was over-priced but an $1,100 a month salary can sure change a fella’s perspective. Then today’s headlines offered what appeared to be some promising news to local residents about the direction of our economy: Foreclosed Homes Hit 32 Month Low. The bright light shone for about a minute until I actually read the article and discovered the cause of the change.  The Phoenix area was averaging 50 foreclosures a day so B of A had installed a moratorium for the past two months. Not exactly a long-term solution. Even poor Obama seems trapped in his search for a solution. He tries to compromise with the GOP on the tax legislation and has his own party turn on him for siding with The Enemy. You kind of wonder after a while whether politicians are so focused on the other party being wrong that they have forgotten to do what’s best for the country.

So in the midst of all this Grinch News from the economic world, where can I turn? Where is Tiny Tim when I need him most. Still on a movie reel I guess with the other holiday classics like It’s a Wonderful Life. (I must admit a preference for Chevy Chase whose holiday challenges always puts mine in perspective.) And on top of these discouraging national trends, I am currently immersed in my own Grinch Event: trying to crunch data regarding my school assignment to justify our program’s federal funding. It is truly déjà vu. After two years in the Peace Corps, I already know this dance.



So with this as the backdrop for my current life, I was delighted when one of our social workers invited me yesterday to attend a little musical performance. Even though there were 150 students standing on a grandstand in our cafeteria, the fact that they were all kindergartners still qualified this as a little musical event. As you might imagine, the sight of them was just delightful and a true injection of B-1 for my flagging spirits. I stood in awe as their teachers proceeded to move their charges into a semblance of order despite their overflowing energy.


Just when I think the concert is ready to start, in march another 150 students visiting from a nearby pre-school. Apparently this has become an annual exchange between the two schools with differing economic status. The visiting students have each brought a book purchased and wrapped by their parents to be given to our kids at the completion of the musical performance. And a performance it was! We Wish You a Merry Christmas was sung with mucho gusto and even had some arm gestures included to add to the dramatic flair. But my favorite had to be the resounding rendition of Feliz Navidad. With almost 90% of our kids being Hispanic, one has to agree with the MasterCard commercials that some things are really Priceless. This was actually our second musical event at our school in the past 3 days with the older students playing the violins and wind instruments two evenings before. But it wasn’t quite as easy to recognize the songs as their efforts far exceeded their talent. But it was still sweet to watch them perform before their proud parents.

 

Since I will not be going back to California for the holidays, this was actually the second installment in Jack’s Early Christmas. Over Thanksgiving my son Shane flew down for the Monday Night game where the 49ers actually won a game.  You would never know it was the Cardinal’s stadium with all the jerseys sporting names of SF players. And while the football game might have been culmination of our family holidays, the time leading up to Monday night was even more special for me.  When we weren’t wandering around the local malls, we would sit around my daughter’s apartment watching movies or renewing our old Monopoly rivalries.  And we even cooked our first turkey together without basting each other.

 

With Shane flying back to the Bay Area, I returned to my little carousel pony and the ups-and-downs of my current life in Arizona.  There are the boys in my 8^th Grade groups that I struggle to have impact with as they slowly drift closer to the gang affiliations of the friends and families.  But then I walk by the playground on my way back to my office and all the joy and enthusiasm of the little people dissolve the cloud over my head.  Then school lets out and I drive home, devoid of energy and wondering when the flexibility in my back will return.  But I walk out on my balcony and see the soft light still showing through the neighboring trees and my perspective widens again.  Such has been my carousel of late.

Last night I was fortunate enough to sit with a new friend from our mediation group. His home built decades ago sits on a hill with a marvelous view of the surrounding mountains. He was having a birthday party and suggested we come early to enjoy the setting sun. I can only imagine since his diagnosis with cancer that he spends a good deal of time out there. The sky went from bright red to salmon and finally to those fine wisps of pink in the clouds. It was peaceful sitting there with 10 people who felt very little need to speak. I figured out that Nature’s Movie was over when someone started passing around the popcorn.

And so my carousel ride continues. Some days I feel fragile, both in body and spirit. And with it come feelings of separation and doubt. Other days my spirit is lifted by the smiles of our youngest students, who chase each other around for no apparent reason. Then they take each other’s hands and go back to where they started from. That makes very good sense to me.


I hope that you are holding onto the hands of your loved ones this holiday season. It really is a short journey we are on.